I've had several conversations over the years with friends about what my type of guy is. Mostly I voiced I didn't really think I had a type. I was pretty much all over the board where physical attributes were concerned. I didn't lean toward a certain hair/eye color or build. Race was never too much of an issue either. But if I were completely truthful, there did seem to be trends in certain points of my life. At one point it was really tall guys. Another, thick tall guys. Yet another, tattooed and pierced. Still, if a guy didn't fit this mold, he wasn't ruled out. I dated plenty shorter, thinner, non tattooed and pierced guys.
What I did find is there was a certain personality I was drawn to. Very strong personalities appealed to me. I like confident men. A man that will take charge. Not a man that will dictate to me, but one I know will take care of things if the need arises. I like leaders. Not that I'm a follower, but I liked the idea that a man could take the lead. I also liked a man that I felt could protect me. I think this is the basis behind the tall/thick attraction. I felt like these men could protect. Plain and simple, I wanted a MASCULINE man.
In conflict with this, for as far back as my teens, I have also been wildly attracted to androgynous men. Guys with eyeliner, or who could push the boundaries of what was consider male fashion always caught my attention and were part of my secret fantasy life. (Well, maybe not so secret.)
My current trend of physical attraction are Asian men. Not all Asian guys. Just like with any other race of men, I am attracted to some and not so much to others. Not that I haven't been attracted to them before, over the years there are several Asian guys that I've had the hots for, but not a large number. With my increased interest in Kdrama and Kpop, I developed an appreciation for Asian men as a whole. Not that I expect them to all look like my favorite Asian actor or pop idol. I've just learned to appreciate the varied aspects of beauty that graces many Asian males. As with any race/country, it's all about what you are exposed to. When you are not exposed to much of a certain race (I grew up in the rural, southern United States), you tend to see that race through homogeneous lens. It's not only Caucasians that see sameness when looking at another race. Many of my Asian friends say that their FOB (fresh off the boat) friends experience the same "blinders on "type vision, when they first arrived to the US.
What's clear is that my definition of what is considered masculine has vastly changed. Not that I found Asian men feminine by any means, it's just that they didn't fit my inner western view of what was considered macho manly. I am now exposed to a lot more Asian males (real ones, not just ones I lust after from afar) and I can vouch for many of their 'manilness'. A few are far more manly than most of the men that I have dated. Even if they are short (it's hard to be shorter than me, at 5'1, but still it happens) or if I out weigh them, I have learned that these things are not necessarily attributes that establishes manliness. Even a few of the androgynous ones (which make my heart beat at a crazy rate), still exude this raw maleness that makes me heady. Believe me when I say they are all 100% all male, I mean it.
This shift in my perception has also transferred over to other races. I now recognized manly men, where I didn't see them before. This change in perception has opened up a whole new world for me. An appreciation of a greater variety of men and for this I am thankful. Let's just say that my pool for fishing has gotten larger.
So what is my idea type now? Who knows. I don't know what he looks like, but I know what he 'feels' like. I am more open with going with my inner instinct, than with my former preconceived notions. I don't even have a checklist anymore. No more do's and don'ts, just an open mind and an open heart. With this attitude, I hope to find someone the share the rest of my life with. Maybe I have already found him. ;) Or maybe, just maybe, I have this new found ability to 'see' him when he enters my life in the future. This makes me much more hopeful. Namaste.
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