Saturday, September 21, 2013

Big Shave Worthy

It's a not so well kept female secret. For most of us, our shaving maintenance is the arm pits and, unless it's summer, the leg to the knee. (I won't lie, if winter is coming and there is no Jon Snow on the horizon, I won't even do that much. Don't judge, I live in the Pac NW and my bigfootedness keeps me warm.) If we are not involved intimately with someone, we rarely travel to the thigh area. Sure we do a 'clean up' in the girlie area, from time to time, but true maintenance is reserved for when we know some guy will be perusing the goodies. For me, that only happens with a guy that I think is the "ONE".

Like Elaine in Seinfeld, who determined if a guy was "Sponge Worthy", I contemplate if a guy is "Big Shave Worthy".  See, the big shave means there is a high possibility that I will be getting naked with him.  The big shave means, I'm gonna do a full leg shave and groom the private area, like it's a work of art on display.  I'm not easy, so if I'm gonna be intimate with him, it's a big deal! This means he's passed the battery of tests that I have chalked up in my mind and I have deemed him commitment worthy. Oh yes, I am willing to I'll put in the work and time for a guy that is commitment worthy.

Funny thing is, right now there really is no special guy. A couple I am talking to, but no one I would deem "Big Shave Worthy".   Yet I find myself doing HIGH maintenance. Seriously, what gives? Maybe it's my rich fantasy life. All these hot Asian stars, who I can pretend are my boyfriend, so I fully doll up for... dream sex? Okay, that sounds a little crazytown. I'm really not sure what is going on at the moment. I can tell you that personal grooming is currently at an all time high.  I have never been so ready for inspection in my life. I have shaved, exfoliated, buffed, plucked, polished and lotioned up, like I am ready for a competition. I really am not sure why. Anticipation? Ready for battle?  I'm really confused.

I'm not normally sloppy, by any means. I just don't put in all out effort, when none is warranted. If no one is gonna look under the hood, who cares if the engine is a bit dirty? Right? So what gives with the hyper grooming? Is my intuition alerting my inner goddess that a really great guy is on the horizon? (Crosses fingers.) Ahhh...who cares. This new shade of pink polish looks really cute on my toes and really highlights my baby smooth legs. Jiyong, you paying attention? (Wiggles toes at you.) Come appreciate me!


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