Credited to CherylRichardson.com
I totally stole this from Facebook. It was such a simple and timely notion, I couldn't resist. In loving yourself, that really will encompass many things, so there is there is no need to make a long list of resolutions. If you love yourself more, then naturally you'll do X,Y, and Z.
I've been on the love myself more train for a few years now. Not that I'm loving anyone any less, just being toward myself, the way I am toward my friends and family. Instead of my own worse enemy, I became my own best friend/personal cheerleader/coach/mentor. It was one of the best things I have ever done for myself and the people around me.
Loving myself more meant taking steps to have the type of life I wanted, but I held myself back from, out of misplaced loyalty, over thinking responsibilities, and fear. I finally shut up those toxic voices in my head (and a few outside my head) and pushed myself into, what has turned out to be, a heck of a new life. Is it perfect? Far from it, but it is so incredibly better that it makes the glitches that pop up now and again, seem like annoying gnats, instead of mountains I could never scale.
Everything I do now, I consider what is best for me first. I no longer take a backseat, just to try to please others and not rock the boat. When I do rock the boat, I'm thoughtful about it, I take time to explain to my love ones my well thought out reasoning, and make it clear that I'm going forward with no regrets. It's taken some major adjustment for a few close to me, but we are all getting to a cool place now.
Toxic relationships of any kind or fashion are no longer allowed. I am still a very loving, giving, empathetic person, but I no longer allow others to grab my neck and push me down, just to save themselves from drowning. Simply put, I got my shish together, so I expect others to do likewise. I embrace the positive. I know sometimes things are not all bright and shiny, but I do not allow others to anchor me down with habitual negativity. It's selfish and self defeating and I'm ashamed that I have been guilty this kind of behavior in the past. But that is exactly where it lies, in the past.
I got over my savior complex and quit trying to heal and save everyone. Instead, I turned all that energy into healing and saving myself. You know what? I became a much better mother, sister, daughter, lover, and friend because of it.
So why am I telling you guys all this? It's because I am like a patient that found a miracle cure. I want to shout it to the world. Want to know how I did it? First I took care of all the mounting issues that I had been procrastinating about. Clearing your path of, whatever it may be, debt, legal issues, taxes, changing jobs, letting go of bad relationships, recovering your health, refusing to continue to be a victim; shedding those issues it will take a huge weight off of you. A weight that had come on so gradually, that you did not realize just how heavy it had become.
Second, treat yourself the way you would treat your nearest and dearest. I am a great cheerleader and support to my loved ones, but in the past, I failed miserably when it came to myself. I didn't accomplish it overnight. A habit of a lifetime cannot be eradicated in a few days. I started telling myself all those positive things I told my friends. I held, and to this day, hold affirmation talks with myself in the mirror every morning. I tell myself I am smart, beautiful, inside and out, loving, talented, creative, funny, and accomplished.
I have an affirmation book that I add to weekly. It's sort of a journal/memories book, where I put down all the positive things that have happened to me. This way, when I'm having a particularly bad day, I can pull this book out and remember that this is just a single bad day, in the middle of so many good days. And I'm telling you that it works! I recently was ill for several days on end, missing out on something I really wanted to take part in, and allowed myself to get all teary and threw a pity party. After sobbing for a few hours, I remembered my affirmation book, pulled it out and flipped through it and BAM! Instant mood turn around! In that book was positive proof that for the most part, I have a pretty awesome life. (In addition to this journal, I have a separate journal to log daily at least one thing I am grateful for. I know this may be a little much for most of you to dive into, but several of us in my circle of ladies, started this in the summer and it keeps us grounded into remembering the little things in life that bring us happiness.)
Third, do what makes you happy. It can be big or small. Tailor it to YOU! Get a manicure once a week. Paint for local art shows. Garden. Cook wonderful dinners. Join a Fantasy Football League. Color with your children. Sit in the green house with your mom. (One of my favorite things to do when I'm back home.) Whatever makes you happy, is what makes YOU happy. You don't have any expectations to live up to, other than your own.
My friend, Cookie, is currently training for Crossfit Competitions. I have never seen her so flush with excitement and happiness. She apologizes all the time for how she goes on and on about her hobby, but there is no need, for I get just as excited listening to her be so excited about it. Just like she listens to me go on and on about hot Asian singers and actors, blogging, clean eating (our shared passion), potential travel, and learning languages. I have other friends that have also found their passions in life. Our individual and mutual enthusiasm, causes a never ending circle of dialogue and encouragement.
Last, but not least, surround yourself with good people. I have really won the lottery on this one. I have super, awesome people around me. Some are family, others are life long friends, and many others are new friends. Once I let go of the barely there, kinda friends, who I shall call rainy day friends, because they only wanted my friendship with things sucked for them, I gained a whole new prospective in life. Life is truly what YOU make it. If you surround yourself with pessimism and drama, you can expect a pessimistic, drama ridden life. If you surround yourself with positive, reciprocating friends, who demand good things out of life and encourage you to do the same, then you will find yourself, pretty easily living a positive, happier, encouraging life.
So this, my friends, is my prescription for 2014. Love Yourself More and I bet you'll see a big change in your lives. Namaste.
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