I Guess I'm Not That Southern After All

If you've never seen these series of videos, Shit Southern Women Say, you really should check them out. They can found on Youtube.  They are funny, sometimes a little over the top, but often hits the nail on the head of how a lot of southern women think/act.  The video below is Shit Southern Women Never Say. As a southern woman, now living in the PNW, I was surprised how many of points made in this video did not fit me, even before I moved away from Arkansas.







Let's go over the statements made in this video and see how I rate:

1. How are you guys doing?  In college I made a conscious decision to stop saying ya'll. 
2. You want some unsweetened tea?  As someone who has had to watch my weight for years, sweet tea isn't offered in my house. But I do offer it with monk fruit sweetener!
3. I'm not gonna serve dessert.  If I'm serving dinner for guest, there will always be some sort of dessert option. Sometimes two!
4. Go light on the mayonnaise hun. Again, weight issue, light on mayo in this house.
5. Hairspray is gross. As a teenager, this would never have crossed my lips, but I love not having to use it much now. Still, good hair product is a necessity! 
6. Why would you want to be a cheerleader? I never understood the appeal of the cheerleader. Sure I did cheers with my female friends when I was little. I wanted to play with them and that's what they played. I did split jumps and herkies,  but I would have rather been playing football. 
7. I regret being in a sorority. No way would I have ever been in a sorority.  Too many rules!
8. I'm just going to go without makeup. Up until age 30, this might have been true. Now I go without it often and have no issues with it. 
9. I despise tailgating. It can be fun in small doses. 
10. I don't really care about football. I used to only like college ball, but the Seahawks changed that.
11. I'm not riding in that truck. I have uttered these words when: A: Truck was too tall and I had on long skirt. B: When inside of truck was dirty. C: When I thought it would die before we got out of the driveway.
12. I'm not peeing in the woods. If I gotta go and there are no other options, yes, I will pee in the woods. 
13. I'm not drinking beer out of a can. I don't drink beer much, but drinking out of can would not be the issue here. 
14. We don't have any crazy people in our family. Bwhahahahahhaha! 
15. Oh I haven't seen this episode of Designing Women.  I've watched every episode multiple times.
16. Less is more. An acquired skill in the last few years. 
17. I'm not wasting my money on a manicure.  I have said this, but I would never pass up a pedicure. ;)
18. I'm not gonna buy a new Easter dress. Not religious, so this would never be an issue. 
19. I love tofu. I don't LOVE it, but I don't mind it.
20. I love hockey. Been a big hockey fan since 1988. Go Blues!
21. I hate Dolly Parton. She's alright. 
22. Pageants are stupid.  I never saw the point to them, but I have helped my Bestie get ready for a few.
23. I thought Graceland was tacky. I did think it was tacky, but also awesome!
24. I've never been in a parade.  Too many to count.
25. I've never read the bible.  Come from a uber religious family. It was the law to read the bible.
26. Thank god my children are gay.  As someone with many LGBT friends, I was careful to make sure my son knew early on, that if he were to be gay (he's not), it would make no difference.  I have many southern friends that have LGBT children and I don't think a single one handled their coming out, with anything less than love and support. 
27. We don't keep guns in this house. I don't have guns in my house, but I have had them in the past and don't have an issue with it, if they are locked up properly. Most of my family in Arkansas and Washington have concealed carry permits. (I have no need for one.)
28. I wish I could write in cursive.  Cursive is my preferred style of writing. 
29. Don't feed that to the dog.  If it's good leftovers, you better not feed that to the dog.
30. Let's go to Canada.  I wanted to go to Canada wayyy before I visited/lived in Washington State.
31. Let's go to the New York Yankee Museum.  Not a baseball fan, but wouldn't be opposed to going.
32. Let's go to the Jersey shore. Not going to plan a trip, but if we are close, sure why not?
33. I drive good in the snow.  Drive in the snow, yes. On the ice, no. There is a big difference.
34. Now what does Carrie Underwood sing. I don't think I can name a single song of hers.
35. I'm not subjecting my child to vacation bible school. I did give the option for my son to go to vacation bible school.  I have fond memories of it. 
36. I don't tithe to the church. Don't go to church. Would rather give money to charity. 
37. I don't care what the preacher thinks. I quit thinking about what the preacher thought at age 15. 
38. Don't call me Ma'am. It's southern thing. Ma'am, Sir.  I don't see the problem with it.
39. I can open my own door. Not opposed to chivalry, but I'm just a liable to open the door for you, if I'm there first. 
40. I'm not going to bother to RSVP.  I try, but I'm guilty of not doing it.
41. You can totally wear red to a wedding. Never upstage the bride!
42. You need to marry a nice Jewish boy. I never suggest people find mates due to religious preferences. 
43. I'm thinking about getting a smart car. I wanted one soooo bad when I lived in Arkansas!
44. I'm finished decorating my house. This is not so important, now that I have downsized to 550 square feet.
45. I have no desire to go to the Kentucky Derby. I'd go, at least once.
46. Hats are tacky. I love me some hats!
47. I wouldn't be caught dead in searsucker. Searsucker can be cute.
48. They ain't got shit up at Wal-Mart. I don't think I've ever said this exact phrase, but I have said "They don't have the shit I need at Wal-Mart."  I tend to purchase a bunch of speciality items.
49. Can you teach me how to make a casserole? I taught myself to cook at age 9 and I think one of my first dishes was a casserole.
50. Don't fry that. Again the weight thing. I rarely fry anything, but bacon.
51. I hate Ranch dressing. I prefer a vinaigrette, but a really good house Ranch dressing is nice. But if it's with hotwings, I'm a Blue Cheese kinda girl. 
52. I overcooked the greens. Is there such thing as overcooked greens?
53. I hate funeral food. I hate funerals, but the only thing that makes it tolerable is the food. 
54. Tastes just as good, without the butter. I'd rather have the butter. Even if it was just a little smear.
55. Pearls are out of style. Pearls NEVER go out of style 
56. My best color is black. Black IS my best color. It's slimming. 
57. Nobody's gonna notice that run in your stockings. Rarely wear stockings. Do tights count? Wait, that's usually snags or a hole. 
58. Who's Emily Post? I try to adhere to good etiquette, but I have a rebellious streak...and I'm kinda lazy. 
59. My mama could have cared less if I was a debutante.  She really could have cared less. 
60. My husband's always right. Ummm....bwahahahahahahaha!
61. I wish it was more humid. Blasphemy! One of the reasons I moved to the PNW, was to get away from the heat and humidity!
62. I hate wicker. I actually have a love hate relationship with wicker. I love it on porches, hate in in a house. 
63. Duct tape won't fix this. Has this ever been said???!!!
64. It won't matter if we skip church. See question 18.

So I only agreed with 32 of the above statements. That makes me half southern? Sounds about right. I still have very southern roots. There are things ingrained in me, like you always offer drink or food to a guest, even if they are just stopping by for a minute. BBQ comes with slaw on it! Hot sauce is as common a condiment as ketchup. It really does go on everything. Sir and Ma'am slip out as naturally as I breath. You give up your chair to elderly, handicapped or pregnant period!

However, I don't like country music much and I can't stand catfish or grits. You won't see me laying out in the sun.  I'm not big on fishing and Nascar bores me. I'm tattooed, pierced, with blue and purple streaks in my hair, and I lean toward Buddhist and Hindi teachings. My comfort food is Indian, I'm attracted to Asian men and I'm all for gay marriage. So yep, I'm an odd mix of Southerner and Other. Does that make me Southern lite?  I think I like that tag. Namaste!