Progress of Learning Japanese

I began independent study to learn Japanese, sometime last spring. Why Japanese? It's something I have always wanted to do. As far back as I can remember, I have been fascinated with the Japanese culture. With Asian culture on the whole really. I think it started with my grandmother, whose home was always decorated with beautiful things from Japan, China, and Korea. Then there were the things my uncle sent to me, while serving time with the army in Asia. At the age of two, the thing I loved most was a beautiful royal blue, boys Tang Suit I had received from him, during one of his many tours.  Although the suit is now long gone, the pictures of me in it still hold a special place in my heart.

My mother had a Japanese friend, who served us traditional tea.  And while I found the green tea bitter, I loved the ceremony of the whole experience. Soon I wanted to know how to properly use hashi (chopsticks) and to learn meal etiquette.

The love for Asian culture stayed with me, even throughout my teens. I gravitated toward all things Japanese, but then with the introduction of Asian studies in college, that included Chinese, Vietnamese, Korean, Indian, etc, I broadened my interests.

For as far back as I can remember, I wanted to learn Japanese. Neither my high school, nor my college offered courses. My college did offer Mandarin, but to my deepest regret, I did not take up that class. I was just so focused on Japanese. Silly, I know.

I also love language period. I love to study the origins of words and phrases. I even taught my friends and myself runic in high school, so we could pass notes without the fear that someone could stumble upon our secrets. This is a skill I retain to this day, however useless it may seem. Who knows when it will one day come in handy? ;)

My friend Kelly's family hosted exchange students for years. Callie taught me basic German pleasantries and Maria taught me all the naughty things to say in Spanish.  I also used to love to listen to my friend Seth, who's mother was Russian, read passages from Tolstoy or Dostoevsky to me in Russian, for hours. This only cemented my love of languages and my desire to learn them.

Throughout the years, I have basically inhaled Japanese films, literature, music, manga, anime, but I'm not a weeaboo by any means.  My love for Japan goes beyond pop culture. I have studied, in depth, it's history, philosophy and culture. It has always been my #1 dream travel destination. Learning Japanese is just a natural progression in my life long study of this wonderful, rich, and complex, culture.

Even though I started learning Japanese a year ago, up until a few months ago, the progress was kind of slow. I was told that it was imperative that I first learn the Japanese 'alphabet' system, Kana.  The Japanese language system differs from English.  Where we have characters representing consonants and vowels, the Japanese 'alphabet' has characters representing syllables. (Hiragana: Japanese syllables, Katakana: syllables for foreign words, and Kanji: Chinese characters, incorporated in the Japanese language.) 

I tried to practice my Kana at least five times a week, but there are sooo many characters, that this became a stalling point in my learning. 

When I discussed this issue with a polyglot friend, he suggested that I keep on with my studies of Kana, but to start learning useful words and conversational phrases in Japanese, to keep up the excitement and the feeling that I was actually moving forward. He also suggested I get a bunch of colorful post its, so I could label everything in my home in English/Japanese/Kana. I was to use these words daily, while also familiarizing myself with the Kana for those words.  He calls this "mini home immersion".   

The above picture is just a small taste of all the post its that decorate my home. As you can see, I also have useful phrases on some of them and try to incorporate them into my daily speech. I think this has helped me the most.  I find myself saying things in Japanese to my cat all the time now and the other day I said "domo" to my neighbor, when she brought me over some fruit. *Luckily she knows I'm learning Japanese and responded with an amused smile.*

I do subscribe to a couple of sites, where I am taking lessons.  I use two, because one suits my needs for comprehension, the other is a better fit to improve my pronunciation. I won't list them at this time, because there is a third I am contemplating on trying out that should fit all my needs.  At a later date I will post a link to the one(s) I think work best. I also have apps on the phone for useful words of the day, as well as one I can practice writing Kana, while I'm at the hairstylist or out on errands where I have to sit and wait. All are helpful in their own way.

I'm not quite to the level, where I can converse comfortably with an online tutor, but it will not be long before I'm dipping my toe into those waters. That's the part I'm most excited about!  I just need a few more weeks to improve my comfort level.  I hope to take classes at a local university this fall, as well as participate in local language exchange meet ups. 

My most exciting news is, last night, I dreamed in Japanese! I already dream in Korean occasionally, but that's because my listening comprehension of Korean is far more advanced, due to the copious amounts of Korean dramas I watch. I'm not actively learning Korean, so everything I have learned has been basically through osmosis.  Although my listening comprehension is fairly good, my pronunciation of Korean is crap!  I also watch a lot of Japanese shows and anime.  In the last few months I've noticed that my listening comprehension has increased greatly, but this is the first time that I have actually dreamed in Japanese. I am over the moon about this, because studies show that those who dream in a foreign language earlier tend to learn that language quicker. *crossing fingers*

I really hope this is the case. I would love to become at least comfortable in conversational Japanese, before I visit. Communication is key to a great travel experience. I never want to be perceived as one of those "'loud, rude Americans" who expect everyone to speak to them in English and fail to respect cultural differences.

I aspire to become a polyglot. Not for bragging rights, although that would be awesome, but so that I can converse freely as I travel.  After conquering Japanese, I would love to finish Spanish and then start Mandarin. With my listening comprehension of Korean gaining speed in leaps and bounds, I'm certain that will be in the mix also. Then maybe Italian, Hindi, or even Arabic?

When I think about all the time I wasted, when I could have been learning languages, I could kick myself.  But, then I remind myself, that I still have plenty of time, so I'll just brave the journey one step at a time. 

Namaste

JJY BAND: DEVIATION

Okay I'll admit it, I have a bit of a crush on Jung Joon Young. Maybe it's because he's unapologetically himself. Maybe because he seems to be so innately rock-n-rock and doesn't give fucks what you think. In the overwhelming ocean of glossy wholesomeness that seems to pervade in the S. Korean music market, I find this refreshing.

He's brash and rough. He's not afraid to get dirty. Sure he can polish up when needed, but it always seems as if he refuses to hide the grit beneath. It's like putting a suit on a pig. It doesn't matter how dapper or cute that pig is in the suit, it's still a pig in a suit. Joon Young may clean up and occasionally sparkle with all the cleanness that is exhibited in the majority of kpop, but beneath it all, he never lets us forget that he's Joon Young. And Joon Young is rock-n-roll. Not the kpop variety, but the real deal. On variety shows he frequently says things that he shouldn't. Often he'll play oblivious, but then a cheeky smile will sneak up, indicating he knows he's really pushing boundaries. He can play the fool and the clever guy, depending on his mood.  One of his most appealing traits is this intense brooding stare that screams cocky defiance, but then there is this kookiness about him that makes you snort and roll your eyes. Oh how I love this guy!

Now I could go on waxing poetic about my love for all things Joon Young, but I'm really here to talk about the music. I L.O.V.E. this album!  The debut track, OMG, is a rousing rock-n-roll anthem, with sexy, growling vocals and dirty guitars.  The video is rated 19+, with good reason.  It depicts everything we imagine the rock-n-roll life to be. Sex, alcohol, more sex, and all the manic, kinetic energy of a roller coaster. If you are wondering where the drugs are, well to depict that in anyway in S. Korea would be a death nail in his career, but a hookah does make an appearance. There's also a hallucination sequence during the song's break, featuring zombies, lightsabers, and a man in a dog mask.  You draw your own conclusions.

After listening to the complete album, I made a beeline to buy it on Itunes. (It's curiously called Escape to Hangover on Itunes.)  I can't find a song I dislike. In fact, I really like all of them. Besides OMG, I think my favorite track is Sunset. Sunset starts out, seemingly a lazy ode to summer, but ends up being a lament of being forever alone. This tune really showcases his sexy baritone voice. I'm all about the baritone. Not since Charlie Sexton have I had these kinds of goose bumps over a voice. (Yes I realize that dates me, what of it?) And when he growls "Do you want to dance with me?" the crazy fangirl inside screams yes!

I also really like Alibi and XGirl. They seem to bookend the emotion of a painful breakup; the start of disillusionment and the sad resignation of when it's finally over. In Alibi he begs "Where is love? Tell me what is love?" and in XGirl he does what many of us do when we are drunk and deep in our feels, admits that even if she's bad for him, he misses her. Been there Joon Young, been there. Need a hug?

I predict that Deviation is destined to be the soundtrack of my summer. I've listened to it, pretty much nonstop, for a week. It's worth a listen guys and if you find yourself as crazy about this album as I am, go buy it.  Like I always say, support great art. Let your dimes be proof of your appreciation.

Jung Joon Young is currently starring in the hilarious cable kdrama, The Lover.  I wish I could find a clip of the glow in the dark condom scene, because it's sidesplittingly funny. He's also a regular on the variety show 2Days, 1Night.

Namaste

Story of a Rescue Kitty: How Fate Bestowed a Rare Cat Upon Our Family

She's a looker, eh?  Fluffy, silky and black. Her high cheek bones are as regal is her pluming tail. she's definitely one of the prettiest cats I've ever seen. Yes I'm extremely biased, but people constantly keep remarking how gorgeous she is. What kind is she? They would ask.  And until a month ago, I always responded with a shrug, "Rescue".  

See, I had no clue what kind of cat she was.  Her origins couldn't be any more humble. In the summer of 2009 my son was doing a little fishing in a lake that was only a couple blocks from our home.  While sitting on the dock, he heard mewing coming from the dumpster at the edge of the parking lot. At first he thought the cat was under the dumpster, so he crouched down, trying to find the mew'r, but found nothing.  It was then he realized the sound was coming from INSIDE the dumpster. 

Inside the dumpster he finally pinpointed the mewing coming from a certain trash bag. Inside that trash bag was an old, zipped up backpack. What he found inside the backpack horrified him. There huddled together were two kittens, one grey stripped, the other black as night. The black one was so small that it could lay in the palm of my son's hand.  My son, being the animal lover he is, snuck the kittens into our home. We were not allowed to have pets, but this did not deter him from hiding them in his room.  I think a week went by before I discovered them. One morning, while it was still dark, I went into his room to ask him something. As I opened the bedroom door, I spotted something stretching and yawning on his bed. It scared me! Omg! Was that a rat?!!! Did we have rats??!! I flipped on the light and found not one, but two bundles of fur cuddled around my son's sleeping form. 

After much begging, I allowed him to keep the black one and the gray one found itself a home. My son was warned that this was his pet, to care for alone. The main reason is I'm allergic to cat dander. The other, I'm just not a cat person. I apologize to all you cat people out there, but I've never been real fond of cats. I'm sure the that had a lot to do with the sneezing and itching eyes and skin.

Despite my initial avoidance, this little feisty ball of fur soon wormed her way into my heart. We realized that she couldn't have been more than five weeks old, because she was so tiny and constantly suckled our fingers, like she was trying to nurse. It became obvious that she had imprinted on me as her mother. I could not take a step without my lil shadow. I had to learn to shuffle my feet, so not to step on her tiny little form. In a short time, she became my constant companion.

Due to her being black, my son named her Phantom.  It was fitting.  As she grew, like a phantom in the night, she would playful pop out and scare me. Her favorite all time punking was to jump out of the clothes hamper in the morning, as I was dressing for work. Later, my son also started randomly calling her Bobaggins, for no other reason that it was fun to say. Soon she became Phantom Bobaggins and eventually that became her official name. We call her Bo most of the time, although when she's in trouble, the full name gets used. Usually when she is stealing a slice of pizza.  

My son moved out and was unable to take her with him. His job kept him on the road. It was always understood that, when he eventually found himself in a position to be able to take care of a pet, she would go live with him. Despite this understanding, she inevitably became my cat. She traveled to the Pacific North West with me and has been my constant companion since. 

A month ago I snapped a picture of her, sunning herself on the window sill.  I posted that picture on various social media and was flooded with messages on where did I obtain my Chantilly/Tiffany from?  I told them all she was a stray.  One of those friends is a cat breeder, with a chocolate Chantilly/Tiffany and after a lot of pictures, she concluded that Bo is a naturally occurring Chantilly/Tiffany. She has all the traits, from the ruff at the neck, high cheek bones, silky semi long coat, streamers on ears, yellow eyes, to the distinctive chirping she does. Then she explained to me that Chantilly/Tiffany are nearly extinct and that Bo, even being a naturally occurring one, was a rare kitty.  So the little ball of fluff that nearly lost her life in a dumpster is a rare kitty? Well, I knew that already!  She survive insurmountable odds. She wormed her way into a non cat lover's heart. She dominates all the big dogs that run loose around our neighborhood.  I'd say she is a very rare, unique cat indeed!

I can't begin to tell you what a pleasure and a comfort she has been We cohabitate well together. Our moods seem pretty synchronized.  She wants affection and to cuddle when I do and goes about her business when I'm busy. (With the exception of when I work. She works hard to distract me then. This is a game we play and it will probably continue until we are old and forget the other exists.)  

It's a point of interest that she is most likely a rare breed of kitty.  This by no means defines her.  She is special due soley on her bad ass attitude and loving nature. I don't need papers to tell me how special she is.  Her value goes beyond breed.  She is my loving companion and that's all I really need to know about her. 

Love your fur babies! Namaste!

"Some" relationships

"Some" MV: SoYoo & JunggiGo feat:Lil Boi

Did you watch the video? Do you understand what "Some" relationships are yet? No? Did you turn on the subtitles and read the lyrics? I'll wait while you go back and watch again... Still don't understand or don't want to read subtitles? Okay I'll clarify it for you. "Some" is a term young Koreans use to explain a certain type of a relationship. In short definition a "Some" is: something more than just friends, but not a labeled relationship, such as boyfriend/girlfriend. Now don't get this confused with friends with benefits. Sex is not excluded from these relationship, but often is not expected. 

A "Some" relationship is one that can mimic a full blown relationship.You spend all your time together. If you aren't together, then you are texting, face timing, or talking on the phone. You flirt a lot. Maybe not overtly sexual, but this amorous interaction is vital to each other's feeling of being wanted or desired. You want to share good and bad news with that person first. Yvcdsou depend on each other emotionally. Little actions that are normally reserved for family or lovers, are readily exhibited. Such as wiping ketchup out of corner of the other's mouth, smoothing of hair, or a quick squeeze to show you care. Physical affection, such as touching, hugging or patting, is performed on a regular basis. Your friends will often say "You guys act like a couple, so why don't you just become a couple"?  And when you hotly deny that you are a couple, they'll ask you "Well what are you guys, anyway?"  To which you'll reply, "Friends".  The air quotes are not used in reality, but inferred through inflection of speech. Oh yes! This clears up everything!! But you are not being coy or secretive, because you really don't know how to explain what you two are exactly. That would mean actually sitting down and defining the terms of the relationship.  This places you in a very scary predicament due to the following reasons:

•  A: One or both of you are not ready for that step
•  B: One or both (usually one) is keeping their options open
•  C: One or both of you have no intentions of it ever becoming anything more

When I say, you can function as a couple, you really do. You are fulfilling all the needs a significant other would. You are each other's, built in,  Plus 1. You go on pseudo dates. You are their personal cheerleader and shield during hard times. You prepare meals together, marathon TV shows together, even cuddle and engage in pillow talk, but you are never secure enough to say "He/She is mine".

Eventually there can become expectations far beyond the parameters of "Some".  When those expections are not met, resentment and confusion can set in. It can leave one or both partners feeling confused and frustrated.

There are so many reasons why this type of relationship is dangerous. Although a few can navigate a "Some" relationship unscathed, friendship remaining intact when the other moves on to a "Real" relationship, most can not.  In the end, someone usually gets hurt.  For at least one partner, the desire to go to the next level is strong. The subject of addressing the change in feelings is mostly avoided, possibly because they are afraid it will jeopardize what they have now with their "Some" partner. A few brave ones step up and demand clarification. Rarely does this result in the fruition of what they desired.  

I've personally had a couple of "Some" relationships. Neither case evolved into a "Real" couple status. These relationships ended up being a confusing, heartbreaking time for most involved. In one of these relationships, I was the one who wanted more. In the other, I was the one who was enjoying an ambiguous relationship, but ended it when I realized how much it was hurting my friend. Luckily, I was able to salvage the friendship in the later. It did take a real long cooling off period and him becoming involved in a "Real" relationship for us to become chill again. I'm happy to say we are still friends today.  And even though we both sometimes find ourselves without romantic partners at the same time, we now keep the lines of friendship clearly defined and intact. 

Now I know there are a few out that that can manage this type of relationship without any real repercussions.  That's awesome for you, but for most of us, the lines in a "Some" relationship can become blurry. Eventually, someone starts mistaking it as the real thing, or question themselves with "Do they really want to be with me, but are afraid to say?"  It's a treacherous, slippery slope that can only lead to inevitable misunderstandings and hurt feelings. 

My experiences with "Some" relationships were a mixed bag of emotions. Part of those relationships were awesome. I won't lie, in many ways they fulfilled a deep need inside me.  I always had a buddy to do things with.They stroked my ego, made me feel wanted, and filled in an empty space that could have resulted in loneliness. In both cases we were pretty emotionally involved.  We genuinely looked out for and cared about one another. It was understood that if a real option came up that the other would like to explore, the partner would step aside. After all, we want our "friend" be happy, right? In theory, deep into our late night talks, where we poured our hearts out to one another, this made sense. We readily agreed to the terms both of us had came up with. In reality, there was always some jealousy displayed, even when one thought they were hiding it well. Even if being with the "Some" partner as a "Real" partner was never a real consideration, the partner rejecting the "Real" could exhibit jealous reactions and deploy cock blocking tactics. (The cock blocking wasn't just me, both guys did it regularly.) Lines were constantly being blurred and occasionally mind games were played. In one case it became a game of "I don't want you, but I don't want anyone else to have you either, because you are mine. But I'm not yours, so don't go expecting things!"  

Ahhhh! I don't miss those times either.  As heady and exciting as they were, they were also very painful and frustrating. I hope to never make that mistake again. I found they only waste time and kept us from moving on to find new partners that were better for us. This kind of relationship was kind of a hiding place.  A place to mark time, until we felt ready enough to risk everything on the "Real" thing. I don't regret the real affection and fun that was experienced, but I could have done with  out the heartache in the end. 

As you can tell, I'm not a supporter of "Some" relationships. Flirtation is fine, but if you realize that, that one is not the right one for you, cut them loose to find one that will appreciate them and take the plunge to become much more than "Some". 

For those of you who are subtitle challenged, here's a great slowed down English version by the song writer herself. 

                            "Some" by eSNa

 Namaste. 

New Story Idea:

I have been working on my book lately.  It's slow going, but I'm steadily make progress. My muse is a kinda a dick.  She often gives me great inspiration at the most inopportune time, or in the wrong direction. Suddenly I am inundated with all sorts of ideas, but none that fit into my current work. See? Dick!

She's in prime form today.  I been listening to a playlist that someone named Obsession/Possession, while doing my day job and suddenly, BAM! Idea!  The words came spilling forth, like I was channelling a spirit. I'm going to put this below, for you to preview. I have no idea where she's guiding me with this, which is often the case.  I also want to reiterate that the following is a character speaking and not my inner, rambling, dialogue.  I think this character is borderline sociopath, which, rest assured, I am not.

I created this blog to post my work, in it's different stages.  I have not done so to date. Please remember that this is not even first draft, but merely a genesis of a story.

Obsession starts small. You notice him at work, at a get together, or in school. Sometimes he's the barista at your favorite coffee shop, the neighbor boy, often he is a complete stranger you spotted on the bus. He's cute, or stunningly handsome. Sometimes it's not even about his looks, it's about his hands, or the timber of his voice...or even...his laugh. Before social media, you had to work to find out more about him. You made excuses to sit near him, never close, or with him, but near enough to overhear bits of information that you could put in that mental file cabinet, a little drawer that belonged to only him.

Like a social engineer, you have done your research to optimize success in constructing the best possible circumstances to eventually become part of his inner social circle. It's not even about sealing the deal romantically, although this option would not be rejected, but it's more about being close to him, becoming important to him. Close, but at a distance. Because too close can ruin the fantasy. That's what it is really about, the fantasy.

If you could have posters made up, you have him plastered all over your wall, like you would a favorite actor or singer. Instead, you have a scrapbook filled with photos, doodles with Mrs. and his last name, book ending your first name. You save napkins with silly drawings he made, the drink stirs from the first drink he bought you, a lock of his hair that you snagged after his last trim.

As you age, you add to your recon, it's no longer just the scrap book or souvenirs, but it's now a hidden file on your computer, filled with every possible piece of information you can gather on him. Every picture he has put up on social media. Pictures you creepily took while he was sleeping. You become an expert on him. You memorize every aspect about him, right down to the way his lip curves up on one side, in that slightly crooked smile that your find so damn endearing. You know him better than he knows himself.

You anticipate his needs and stealthy become someone he relies on, never realizing that he has been carefully maneuvered to do so. You become his best friend, his confident, his #1 cheerleader, his confessor, his safe place. And it's only after accomplishing this, that you finally feel secure. That is, until some other female becomes a perceived threat to your ranking in his life. It doesn't have to be a girlfriend, a lover, or his wife. It can be his mother, a sister, or a cousin. Sometimes, it's just another friend, male or female, it matters not. They've upset your applecart and then it all starts to unravel. Your insecurities start to show. You become jealous, petty, and desperate to re-establish the status quo. But this only shines a spotlight on the real freak within. The crazy one, the obsessive, the stalker and finally he sees past the mask, past the dog and pony show, to see the real you that that lies beneath, and disgusted, he leaves...

This has been my pattern. This is the only way I know to love. In my desperation to be important in someone's life, I construct artificial relationships, never allowing anyone to love the real me, only the manufactured me, the me that in the end, is always rejected. I want to change. I want to be loved. I just wish I knew how to stop. Is it even possible to stop this pattern now? Where do I even start? Do I even know who I really am anymore?  

Creepy, huh? I would like to think that this will be a story about redemption, but I go where the characters take me.  Who knows what path they may take me down.  Wish me luck.  And if I start to act kinda dark, remind me to sit under my phototherapy lamp.  That usually brings me back to my usual sunny self.  Namaste.

Reflection or Crazy Hormonal Bitch Session? You Choose!

So the the blog name is a little misleading, right? I bet if you have read any one of my blog !
postings, the biggest red flag is the considerable lack of sarcasm. This is what happens when you name your blog before you make life changes. Yanno, like you used to be an extremely sarcastic ass, who decided their life was for shit, so made some positive changes and started shitting glitter and rainbows. Yep, this is what has happened to me for the most part. Life was shit, I got a clue, I bitch slapped my inner whiner and "poof", like magic, my life greatly improved. Yay for Dinah for getting her shish together! *Shoots glitter, but no rainbows, I've been doing a cleanse.*

Ahhh, but here's the rub. That cynical, sarcastic bitch, as hard as I have tried to annihilate her, still resides deep inside.  She's not dead, just dormant.  She rears her amazingly petulant head when I have A: Had way too much to drink or B: When I'm hormonal. Seeing that I have not had any alcohol this week, I'm going to blame today on the hormones. Yes, let's!


Lumbersexuals.  People want the tag this as a trend, but in the PNW, it's just a way of life for some.  Guys here, for the most part, ARE outdoorsy.  They know they will inevitably get wet, so they don't put a lot of effort toward their look. Worn jeans, flannel shirts, work boots, seemingly ungroomed beard and Carhartt jacket make up their unofficial uniform.  For some reason, the rest of the country has latched on to this look. Why??!! It's a horrible look guys. It doesn't make you look rugged, or sexy.  It simply makes you look lazy, like you gave up and just hope fate throws a suitable mate into your pathway. People like to poke fun at me for my interest in Asian men, but I would like to point out that for the most part, they are wayyyy better dressed. And I'm not complaining about an occasional casual look. We do all that from time to time. Some days you just want to hang. On those days nothing more than jeans and a tee is required. This is acceptable when meeting for a quick coffee or perusing the bookstore. Meeting up for a musical, dressed like Paul Bunyan, it is not.

Remember how I said that for some, it's a way of life? Yeah, well for many of our rugged residents, dressing for dinner means putting on the blue flannel instead of the red one. This look exasperates me. I can't determine if you are decent looking or not, with all that fur on your face.  Lot's of guys expect us women to be waxed to the bare minimum, yet you show up looking like yetis and expect us to fall all over you.  I'm not shallow, but if you insist on wearing your ball cap low on your brow and  support an impressive mountain man beard, you are giving me about as much visual information to go on, as if you wore a bag over your head.  At least with the bag, I wouldn't keep fixating on the hairs that keep curling into your mouth, every time you take a drink of your beer. All I'm saying is I make an effort, why can't you?

Netizens. Oh you throngs of keyboard clicking waste of humans. And no, I'm not pointing this toward the normal citizens of the Internet,  who go about their daily lives exploring websites, reading, watching and absorbing content, while engaging in thoughtful discourse and debate. I'm talking about the bottom feeders of the net, that have such ineffectual lives that they focus their inner self loathing toward others, who are actually doing something with theirs. They work hard to discredit and abuse those they sometimes claim to admire. Why do you feel the need to infect the web with your poison words? You troll a pretty, yet over weight girl who posts pictures of herself in the prom dress she is trying to sell. You attack and sometimes 'de-friend' people who are supposedly your 'friends' on Facebook, because they dare to have beliefs different than yours. Your idol starts to date, or *gasp* actually shows a human side and you start a verbose attack on their fan pages, going beyond expressing your disappointment, but aiming for the jugular, often times with crazy town threats and wild fantasy driven accusations.  For the love of *insert deity of your choice here*, please get a grip and channel that passion into something positive. Fight against your primitive impulse to eat, fuck, shit and kill.  Join the human race, why doncha?  You might actually find yourself living a happier, fulfilling life. 

Life Style Mockers.  So you're not into CrossFit.  You can't imagine why girls want to have well defined muscles and gladiator like strength.  The fact she has better muscle tone and stamina than you do, does not make her mannish.  She is not less feminine because she does not fit your personal preference.  Stop telling her that others will find her less desirable and trying to discourage her from a course that has improved her self esteem, her health, and given her a new positive view of life.  Her life choice is not an insult or a threat to you. So why do you feel the need to constantly tell her how she makes YOU feel?  If you feel less of a man around her, then that is your problem, not hers. 

You can't imagine never not eating meat again.  You find dietary restrictions annoying and stupid.  That's you dude.  Get over it.  Would you mock a diabetic for avoiding sugar? Tease someone with Crones Disease for eliminating gluten? Why are you bugging if someone decides this is the course they wish to take? Look at it this way, more steak for you! 

But on the other hand, if the thought of eating an animal byproduct repulses you and you feel the need to protect all the creatures, big and small, don't try to guilt me because I need a burger occasionally or have a strong craving for hot wings. We can co-exist, I swear! I will take a bullet for you and eat all of that offending meat, if you promise to keep me in steady supply of yummy vegan dishes that I also crave habitually. 

Rude/Inconsiderate People: Common courtesy and general etiquette seem to be dying.  I do recognize that some of my gripe is due to regional differences. I think southern people are just more courteous in general, but it's dying a slow death there too.  I recently saw a woman struggling to push a heavy shopping cart with a toddler in it and holding onto a six year old boy.  The boy apparently wanted something she had in her purse so he made a grab for it and all the contents went flying down the aisle.  The mother exclaimed in horror, the toddler started howling, the six year, now loose, started to do the naughty stuff six year old boys will do, like climb on the shelves.  The mother was trying to give each situation her attention, all at once, despite her obvious distress, the crappy thing is her belongings were being ( I kid you not) kicked aside or run over by other shoppers.  I had to restrain myself from yelling at those A-holes.  I was a bit away, but I hurried down the aisle, halted the other rude shoppers, told the mom to grab the errant boy and picked up her stuff to put back into her purse. The other shoppers could have just turned around and gone the other way or even lent a hand, but they were just pissed that their path was impeded and took the opportunity to voice their displeasure. I did tell them I thought they were jackasses and hoped they never needed help in public, because, yanno, karma. 

Have the general public just lost all compassion? Is it that hard to help a person in need? Open a door for someone encumbered with an arm full?  If you are my cashier, a hello or how are you today, is appreciated. I often beat them to it, but I have had several cashiers just grunt at me. Grunt!!! I also recently saw a short woman reaching for something on a shelf that was just out of reach, only to have a man reach over her and grab the item and walk off.  I am also short, so the struggle is real.  I have had people help me out from time to time and it was greatly appreciated. This guy was beyond jerk. Luckily a taller woman came behind him and helped the woman out. 

Please, thank you, excuse me. These should be as automatic as breathing. Give your seat to someone that needs it more. It's a no brainer really.  Why are social niceities becoming a thing of the past? Don't let it guys, or we become little better than the beasts we pride ourselves in being better than. 

Okay, rant over. I think now that I have vented, I can be my normal, smiley, happy self again. Find your bliss. Claim your happiness. Shoot glitter and rainbows out of your asses, because life is really too short to dwell upon all the crappy, annoying things in this world. Namaste. 











  

I Guess I'm Not That Southern After All

If you've never seen these series of videos, Shit Southern Women Say, you really should check them out. They can found on Youtube.  They are funny, sometimes a little over the top, but often hits the nail on the head of how a lot of southern women think/act.  The video below is Shit Southern Women Never Say. As a southern woman, now living in the PNW, I was surprised how many of points made in this video did not fit me, even before I moved away from Arkansas.







Let's go over the statements made in this video and see how I rate:

1. How are you guys doing?  In college I made a conscious decision to stop saying ya'll. 
2. You want some unsweetened tea?  As someone who has had to watch my weight for years, sweet tea isn't offered in my house. But I do offer it with monk fruit sweetener!
3. I'm not gonna serve dessert.  If I'm serving dinner for guest, there will always be some sort of dessert option. Sometimes two!
4. Go light on the mayonnaise hun. Again, weight issue, light on mayo in this house.
5. Hairspray is gross. As a teenager, this would never have crossed my lips, but I love not having to use it much now. Still, good hair product is a necessity! 
6. Why would you want to be a cheerleader? I never understood the appeal of the cheerleader. Sure I did cheers with my female friends when I was little. I wanted to play with them and that's what they played. I did split jumps and herkies,  but I would have rather been playing football. 
7. I regret being in a sorority. No way would I have ever been in a sorority.  Too many rules!
8. I'm just going to go without makeup. Up until age 30, this might have been true. Now I go without it often and have no issues with it. 
9. I despise tailgating. It can be fun in small doses. 
10. I don't really care about football. I used to only like college ball, but the Seahawks changed that.
11. I'm not riding in that truck. I have uttered these words when: A: Truck was too tall and I had on long skirt. B: When inside of truck was dirty. C: When I thought it would die before we got out of the driveway.
12. I'm not peeing in the woods. If I gotta go and there are no other options, yes, I will pee in the woods. 
13. I'm not drinking beer out of a can. I don't drink beer much, but drinking out of can would not be the issue here. 
14. We don't have any crazy people in our family. Bwhahahahahhaha! 
15. Oh I haven't seen this episode of Designing Women.  I've watched every episode multiple times.
16. Less is more. An acquired skill in the last few years. 
17. I'm not wasting my money on a manicure.  I have said this, but I would never pass up a pedicure. ;)
18. I'm not gonna buy a new Easter dress. Not religious, so this would never be an issue. 
19. I love tofu. I don't LOVE it, but I don't mind it.
20. I love hockey. Been a big hockey fan since 1988. Go Blues!
21. I hate Dolly Parton. She's alright. 
22. Pageants are stupid.  I never saw the point to them, but I have helped my Bestie get ready for a few.
23. I thought Graceland was tacky. I did think it was tacky, but also awesome!
24. I've never been in a parade.  Too many to count.
25. I've never read the bible.  Come from a uber religious family. It was the law to read the bible.
26. Thank god my children are gay.  As someone with many LGBT friends, I was careful to make sure my son knew early on, that if he were to be gay (he's not), it would make no difference.  I have many southern friends that have LGBT children and I don't think a single one handled their coming out, with anything less than love and support. 
27. We don't keep guns in this house. I don't have guns in my house, but I have had them in the past and don't have an issue with it, if they are locked up properly. Most of my family in Arkansas and Washington have concealed carry permits. (I have no need for one.)
28. I wish I could write in cursive.  Cursive is my preferred style of writing. 
29. Don't feed that to the dog.  If it's good leftovers, you better not feed that to the dog.
30. Let's go to Canada.  I wanted to go to Canada wayyy before I visited/lived in Washington State.
31. Let's go to the New York Yankee Museum.  Not a baseball fan, but wouldn't be opposed to going.
32. Let's go to the Jersey shore. Not going to plan a trip, but if we are close, sure why not?
33. I drive good in the snow.  Drive in the snow, yes. On the ice, no. There is a big difference.
34. Now what does Carrie Underwood sing. I don't think I can name a single song of hers.
35. I'm not subjecting my child to vacation bible school. I did give the option for my son to go to vacation bible school.  I have fond memories of it. 
36. I don't tithe to the church. Don't go to church. Would rather give money to charity. 
37. I don't care what the preacher thinks. I quit thinking about what the preacher thought at age 15. 
38. Don't call me Ma'am. It's southern thing. Ma'am, Sir.  I don't see the problem with it.
39. I can open my own door. Not opposed to chivalry, but I'm just a liable to open the door for you, if I'm there first. 
40. I'm not going to bother to RSVP.  I try, but I'm guilty of not doing it.
41. You can totally wear red to a wedding. Never upstage the bride!
42. You need to marry a nice Jewish boy. I never suggest people find mates due to religious preferences. 
43. I'm thinking about getting a smart car. I wanted one soooo bad when I lived in Arkansas!
44. I'm finished decorating my house. This is not so important, now that I have downsized to 550 square feet.
45. I have no desire to go to the Kentucky Derby. I'd go, at least once.
46. Hats are tacky. I love me some hats!
47. I wouldn't be caught dead in searsucker. Searsucker can be cute.
48. They ain't got shit up at Wal-Mart. I don't think I've ever said this exact phrase, but I have said "They don't have the shit I need at Wal-Mart."  I tend to purchase a bunch of speciality items.
49. Can you teach me how to make a casserole? I taught myself to cook at age 9 and I think one of my first dishes was a casserole.
50. Don't fry that. Again the weight thing. I rarely fry anything, but bacon.
51. I hate Ranch dressing. I prefer a vinaigrette, but a really good house Ranch dressing is nice. But if it's with hotwings, I'm a Blue Cheese kinda girl. 
52. I overcooked the greens. Is there such thing as overcooked greens?
53. I hate funeral food. I hate funerals, but the only thing that makes it tolerable is the food. 
54. Tastes just as good, without the butter. I'd rather have the butter. Even if it was just a little smear.
55. Pearls are out of style. Pearls NEVER go out of style 
56. My best color is black. Black IS my best color. It's slimming. 
57. Nobody's gonna notice that run in your stockings. Rarely wear stockings. Do tights count? Wait, that's usually snags or a hole. 
58. Who's Emily Post? I try to adhere to good etiquette, but I have a rebellious streak...and I'm kinda lazy. 
59. My mama could have cared less if I was a debutante.  She really could have cared less. 
60. My husband's always right. Ummm....bwahahahahahahaha!
61. I wish it was more humid. Blasphemy! One of the reasons I moved to the PNW, was to get away from the heat and humidity!
62. I hate wicker. I actually have a love hate relationship with wicker. I love it on porches, hate in in a house. 
63. Duct tape won't fix this. Has this ever been said???!!!
64. It won't matter if we skip church. See question 18.

So I only agreed with 32 of the above statements. That makes me half southern? Sounds about right. I still have very southern roots. There are things ingrained in me, like you always offer drink or food to a guest, even if they are just stopping by for a minute. BBQ comes with slaw on it! Hot sauce is as common a condiment as ketchup. It really does go on everything. Sir and Ma'am slip out as naturally as I breath. You give up your chair to elderly, handicapped or pregnant period!

However, I don't like country music much and I can't stand catfish or grits. You won't see me laying out in the sun.  I'm not big on fishing and Nascar bores me. I'm tattooed, pierced, with blue and purple streaks in my hair, and I lean toward Buddhist and Hindi teachings. My comfort food is Indian, I'm attracted to Asian men and I'm all for gay marriage. So yep, I'm an odd mix of Southerner and Other. Does that make me Southern lite?  I think I like that tag. Namaste!